Friday 1/27/17. Which should I celebrate today: the Right to Life March, or Holocaust Remembrance Day? Both honor so many lives lost for no good reason. I say "never again" to genocide, "never again" to filicide (a parent killing his own son or daughter). Human rights must apply to all humans.
While researching a popular Christian speaker, I clicked on the “What We Believe” page of his church web site. What I found was the Gospel simply told in a beautiful six-minute film. It begins, “There is only one story that answers life's most essential questions...”
https://thestoryfilm.com/watch
Can you spare six minutes in your busy holiday schedule to see this? Are there others with whom you could share this vital message? This Gospel is the only reason to celebrate Christmas.
Merry Christmas! May the peace of Christ be with you,
j
What gifts are you hoping to get this Christmas? One year our family ran into another Christian family shortly after Christmas. The question each of them, from the oldest to the youngest, asked me was “What did you get?” I was a bit thrown off, since I don't put a lot of emphasis on expensive gifts. After many years, I've finally succeeded in convincing my family not to give me objects they bought at a store, but experiences that I will enjoy, preferably with the person giving the gift. Bonus points if you include other family members! During the last couple of years I've been so happy to go on special museum days with one son, and to special performances with my other son. My children's “x hours of tech support” coupons are always welcome, too. Last year my husband and I enjoyed a weekend away at a B&B as our Christmas gift to each other. A good friend and I went out for a nice dinner. With this approach, I get to spend time with my loved ones, and the joy of Christmas extends well into the new year.
Gary Chapman's famous book “The Five Love Languages” asserts that different people experience love in different ways. So I'd like to challenge you to find out what would make your family and friends the most happy. For me, what I want most is quality time together. It doesn't have to cost much money, but a few hours spent with someone means much more to me than another item of clothing or object for my house. Of course, I'm fortunate to have everything I need already, by God's generosity! Younger folks just starting out may desire practical items they need, and that's fine. Some people really value luxury gifts or experiences, while others appreciate deeds such as breakfast in bed, building a playhouse, cooking Christmas dinner, etc. Some people are waiting for words of affirmation, perhaps written in a letter or poem. Others long for good hugs or cuddles.
When asked what I got for Christmas, my usual answer is about the love, joy, and peace of Christ at this special time of year. Whatever kind of gifts we're giving or receiving this year, let us always be aware that the first gift of Christmas was not gold, frankincense, or myrrh, but a child. This Holy Child came to meet all our needs, including time (eternal life with Jesus and all the saints!), possessions (rich inheritance of grace and peace, mansions in heaven!), affection (beloved children of God in the fellowship of the Spirit!), deeds (He gave His life for us!), and affirming words (all the promises of the Bible!).
Jesus came with presence, to be God with us in the most meaningful, life-changing way. Through this gift, He mercifully and graciously meets our need for salvation from our sin. Remember, your child will follow your example, not your advice. When talking about gifts this Christmas, I encourage you to ask not, “What did I get?” but, “What did I give?” But first, ask, “What did God give?” and “Have I thanked Him lately?”
A blessed Christmas Season to all,
j
The Weekly Encourager – November 22, 2016 – A Prayer for Peace
After such a contentious presidential election, when people are dis-inviting relatives to Thanksgiving dinner because they voted for a different candidate, I hope that no Christian person will disown family and friends over differing politics, religions, race, or life choices. Remember that Jesus ate with prostitutes, tax-collectors, and racists. The Righteous Judge of the World died with common thieves. He socialized with the powerful as well as the lowly rejects of society. Our Lord gave a healing touch to the untouchable, and He calls us to the same path. National holidays are a time to come together over what we have in common. Even if all we have in common with our relatives is food, let us start there to show the true love of Christ. Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate God and appreciate one another.
“Seek peace and pursue it.” - Psalm 34:14; 1 Peter 3:11
“As far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” - Romans 12:8
This year in particular, St. Francis's classic prayer seems very appropriate:
“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.”
Give thanks to God! Pursue peace. Humbly extend the healing touch of Christ to all, with no conditions. A happy, blessed Thanksgiving to you and yours.
God is faithful,
j
The people have spoken: the next president was elected yesterday. Whether or not we are happy with the outcome, we all should thank God that the transfer of power will happen in a peaceful orderly manner. The current president has already invited the president-elect to the White House to talk about effecting a smooth transition. Please do not take this for granted. Many people around the world long for such a system of government. Instead of an interminable monarchy or a bloody military coup, we have free and open elections. This is a huge blessing. “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things....and the God of peace will be with you.” - Philippians 4:8
Now our work begins. Whether or not we voted for him, now we must honor him. “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.” - Romans 13:1
Whether or not we voted for him, now we must pray for him. “First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior.” - 1 Timothy 2:1-3
Here's what I'm praying today: Heavenly Father and Righteous King of the Cosmos, thank You for our nation and its system of government. Thank You for our long history of peaceful elections. Thank You for the many thousands of volunteers around the country who worked long hours at the polls to make our voting possible. Thank You for the passion of so many campaigners. We know that You call us to give thanks in all things, so we thank You for this man who will become our next president. Father, give him wisdom with humility. Help him to assemble the best possible team to act with integrity. Help him to select strong knowledgeable advisors who will help him make wise and just decisions. Wherever possible, place Your people in positions of leadership, and may the new president be open to Your truth, however it may reach him. Give this man a proper sense of his role in history and the high calling of leadership at home and abroad. May he act with humble grace and equity toward all people, regardless of political party, gender, race, age, education, wealth, or other distinctions. May every citizen's voice be heard. May he begin to build relationships with those whose views differ. May his work be productive and effective from the start. May his best qualities come forward and his worst ones recede. Lord, restore the people's confidence in our government. Show us the good, and let us be grateful.
Whether or not we voted for him, now we must heal as a nation. I challenge everyone reading this to find one other person who voted differently than you, and reach out in reconciliation. This is not a time to judge or to gloat, but to heal relationships. Not a time for bitterness, but betterment. “Seek peace and pursue it.” - Psalm 34:14 I am praying also for the candidate who lost this election, and all those who supported her. As Christians, may we be instruments of the Lord's peace in the coming days, weeks, and months. We have a wonderful opportunity to testify to the love of Christ. May the world know that we are Christians by our love.
God is faithful, so keep on praying!
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney. I welcome your comments below.
There is less than one week until the most contentious presidential election in our nation's history. The run-up to this election has been a roller coaster of revelations about one candidate after another. Just when we're convinced that Person A is the worst candidate ever, something new and awful comes out about Person B.
While the media has been revealing shocking things about current candidates for public office, what has the Spirit been revealing about us? Are we growing in grace and being instruments of peace during this process? Are we focusing on the good, true, pure, and noble in others, while praying earnestly for all those in authority? Are we setting a good example for our children or coworkers, showing how the Lord views the political process? Are we bringing light to a wounded world, or spreading darkness with our words? Has this political season made us more convinced of all people's need for a Savior, more humbly grateful for the mercy of God upon our own souls, and more thankful for the sure hope of Heaven?
I think the devil is having a grand time watching all the Christians react to this election cycle. The devil deals in discord. Don't play his game!
The fallout to friendships is perhaps the most sad. Jesus said to love our neighbor and to love our enemies, yet I've seen Christians on social media “unfriend” whole groups of people because they disagree on political issues and candidates. It's so sad to see Christians being unkind to others, calling them names, and rejecting friends they've known for years! Our nation's founders envisioned a friendly form of politics, not politics used to divide friends. This nation was founded on the freedom to think (and vote) as we please, but we do have the right to try to persuade others of our point of view. How is this to be done? Use reason, not rudeness.
Christians, whether in person or through social media, must be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving. So if your friend supports a different candidate, or is on the other side of an important issue, treat him with brotherly love anyway. What would Jesus do if He were on Facebook? I believe He would treat all people with dignity, knowing that all are sinners justly deserving the wrath of God. Jesus would listen carefully to the views of those who disagreed with Him. Then He would speak the truth in love, using calm words to defend His views. He would not answer a fool according to his folly, but He would never return evil for evil. He would pray and trust God. He would never give up hope!
“Now the works of the flesh are evident...enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions...I warn you...those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” - Galatians 5:19-22
Pray! Vote! Pray! And don't let friendships dissolve over disagreements.
God is a faithful friend. May we be faithful friends like Jesus.
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney. I welcome your comments below.
Are you in pain? This week I spoke with a friend who is still suffering from something that happened decades ago. She pointed to a barely visible scar, saying that it had healed well, with only a thin white line remaining, but what one person did to her in the past is still a raw red wound many years later. Although the Lord Jesus calls us to forgive people as He has forgiven us, there's still pain sometimes.
Asheritah Ciuciu wrote a prayer we can pray when we're feeling ongoing hurt from another person's actions. I believe it could also apply to physical pain that just goes on and on. Either way, we must look to the Lord Jesus, for He is the only one who is able to heal us completely. He alone can restore emotional and physical health. In His presence is fulness of joy.
A Prayer for When You Can't Forget the Pain
by Asheritah Ciuciu
O Lord, You see my pain, You know my grief, and You catch my every tear. Nothing is hidden from You. I can't forget, but You can heal, so I humbly ask that you heal me, Lord. Just as You spoke life over dead bones, so speak life over this wounded heart.
The enemy intended to harm me, but You promise you will use this for good, and I trust You.
You tell us to forget the old things of the past and instead to look at the new things you are doing. Help me believe that You are doing a new thing in me, and help me step forward into the future that You're fashioning for me.
You will be faithful to complete this good work that You started. I don't know how, and it's hard to picture what that will look like, but I can't wait to see it happen.
Thank You for always caring and always holding me close to Your heart. I love You, Lord. Amen.
The following verses are cited with the prayer. These would make a great little Bible study for anyone suffering from pain today.
Psalm 139; Psalm 56:8; Ezekiel 37; Genesis 50:20; Isaiah 43:18; Philippians 3:13; Philippians 1:6.
We talked with dear friends who suddenly lost their son. They are in deep sorrow. I said, I'm glad you've kept your faith in Christ. The husband replied, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” - John 6:68 ESV
A note about forgiveness: Jesus didn't wait until He felt no pain to forgive His tormenters and murderers. He didn't wait until all His wounds were fully healed. Nor did He wait for evil people to apologize. He was hanging on the cross bleeding with open red wounds, barely able to breathe, in unimaginable pain physically, emotionally, and spiritually, when He prayed, “Father, forgive them.” It is at the point of greatest personal pain when forgiveness means the most. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” - Galatians 2:20 NASB
Thank You, Lord Jesus of the Cross, for forgiving me when my sin caused You the most pain! Teach me how to forgive others in the same way. They may not know what they do, but I know what I must do. May my life reflect my thankfulness for Your sacrifice.
God is faithful,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney. I welcome your comments below.
http://onethingalone.com/a-prayer-for-when-you-cant-forget-the-pain/
“Do your work heartily, as for the Lord.” - Colossians 3:23
It used to be that money, sex, politics, and religion were taboo topics at social events, but they've become all too common. Now there's another topic that no one dares to discuss, especially in my town of workaholics: laziness. Some good Christian people I know are struggling with not being able to work heartily. Some can't get started on tasks they know they need to do, others can't continue to work steadily but distract themselves with anything but their work, and others can't seem to complete a job all the way to the end.
Whether it's due to procrastination, sadness, fear of failure, perfectionism, poor motivation, or just plain old laziness, this is a real problem. Like many other issues, it's easy for those who don't have this trouble to view it as minor and easily fixed. Just buck up and get to work! It's that easy! These are the same well-meaning but thoughtless folks who tell depressed individuals to “snap out of it” and overweight people to “just eat less.” Those of us who can't control our tongues are told to “think before you speak.” Well, duh.
Most people know that God calls us to work. Even before the Fall, Adam and Eve were told to cultivate the Garden. We are to use the gifts God gave us to provide for ourselves, benefit others, and bring glory to God. Every person has a calling, whether it's a traditional job with a paycheck or being a student or raising a family or volunteering at the nursing home. Even people with severe disabilities can contribute to society in some way. People in prison are longing for some task to do that makes them feel human. I spoke with an elderly saint who was mourning the loss of her mobility, hearing, eyesight, and memory. She said she didn't know why she was still living, since she couldn't do anything! I suggested that perhaps her calling now was to pray for everyone in her life. I encouraged her to pray for our nation – Heaven knows we need it!
So how bad is it? Of course we all have weaknesses. Since the Fall, every good desire has been perverted. Man who was designed to work cheerfully now dreads to get up on Monday morning. When does a weakness become a sin? I'm not an authority on this, but when something is out of control, there's probably sin involved. The world, the flesh, and the devil are the Bermuda Triangle of temptation and can suck us down the vortex of sin. In the worst case, our little boat can be lost in the storm and never seen again. By contrast, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. If your temptation to avoid work can be overcome most of the time, then it's being regulated and mastered. God has given you grace in that area, and you've exercised discipline. Be thankful! But if you fail more often than not at doing your work to the best of your ability, you may have a stronghold of sin in your life. Your lack of self-control is a serious issue which is a sin against the Lord.
Guilt and shame are not my purpose here. These emotions naturally follow when we're sinned, but we go to the foot of the Cross for mercy and we are saved. It's a startling fact: Christ died for laziness just as much as He died for murder and adultery and theft and greed. How can we help those who struggle with this sin? First, pray diligently for them. If you suspect there may be physical, mental, or psychological factors involved, encourage these friends to get medical advice. If they need practical training in how to work diligently, make that available. Remind them of their duty to God. Call them to repentance and assure them of God's forgiveness and your acceptance. We must forgive sinners as Christ forgives us, especially if we live with them and their sin impacts us personally. Be nice: don't be dismissive of their sin just because you are hurt, or because your own sin is in a different area! Spiritual pride may be the worst vortex of all.
In some cases, it may be appropriate to offer to be an accountability partner. This is a sacred task which involves a high degree of trust, honesty, and honorablity. We must respond with gentleness and compassion when someone confesses any sin to us, knowing that our own sin is just as serious. We must commit to regular positive communication with the other person, as well as regular prayer on their behalf. We must keep private matters private. “Do unto others….”
If you yourself are avoiding work, I encourage you to try this. Back when I was in the psychiatric unit with Major Depression, we had to have a “goal for the day” each day, no matter how bad we felt. We shared the day's goal each morning with at least one other person, and kept each other accountable. No shaming, just encouraging. Not platitudes but prayer. Man is a social being, and it helps to have someone who knows what you set out to do that day, and who will follow up at the end of the day or the next morning. One person is now doing this with me via text message at the same time each day. I suggest you find a friend and do the same. (This works better if it's not your spouse.) The point is, start somewhere. Maybe your goal for the first day is just to read one Bible verse about work. If you can accomplish that, you have completed one task. Success breeds success, and you build on that. With God's help, you can do this!
God is faithful,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
A few years back, our family took a grand trip to the Grand Canyon. Due to the circumstances of our flights, we had to land in Las Vegas and spend an afternoon and evening there before heading out to the Grand Canyon National Park the next morning. Now, I apologize to anyone who loves Vegas, but Dave and I had already been there and we had no particular desire to see it again. However, our school-age sons had never seen it, so we used it as a teaching opportunity for them. Strolling “sin city” at night, our family saw all the glitz and glamour man can create (lights, tall buildings, fountains, music, shows, etc.), as well as some of the consequences of man's sin (24/7 gambling, drunkenness, pornography, strip clubs, prostitution, etc.). Truly we saw a modern-day Babel: the pursuit of pleasure apart from God.
By contrast, the Grand Canyon was amazing in its purity, beauty, majesty, and scale. Standing on the South Rim for the first time and looking across 10 miles to the North Rim was literally incredible. The view was so distant yet so perfect that it seemed impossible! My mind told me I was looking at a painted backdrop or a computer-generated image such as those used in science fiction movies to convey things that are well beyond the scope of what can be done in a film studio. You can be sure that we pointed out to our boys the contrast between what man can make and what God can make.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with pleasure. [After all, I'm on vacation as I write this.] The Lord created us to need regular rest; fun is great in its proper place. The danger is that, as sinners, we are prone to pursue personal pleasure above all else. We want to have faith in God only as it forwards our own agenda of happiness. We want to make God serve us, instead of being content to serve Him. If we don't like God's laws, we're tempted to ignore them. If God doesn't bring us what we want when and how we want it, we're tempted to lose faith. We are an impatient people. And we're a building people. We're good at building golden towers and hanging bright neon lights on them. We're good at flashy shows of flesh. We build walls between us and the Lord, and then we're surprised when those walls keep out people, too. We seem to know instinctively how to hide our hearts. But they still hurt.
Where are you building your home – in the city of excess or the land of excellence? The Grand Canyon is awesome; I encourage everyone to see it. You will be changed. But much more important, see the grandeur of God in contrast to the pleasures of this world. Size matters. The true God who created heaven and earth is so grand that, at first glance, He seems “too good to be true.” All the science fiction and fantasy and romance and action movies in the world could not come close to how vast He is, how shining with true light, how perfect in wisdom, how powerful in ability. The best stories are the ones that tap into our deep human need for something grander than ourselves, something higher, something heroic.
I keep coming back to this passage in Isaiah 55: “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him.” No matter how far we have fallen or how deep we are buried, the Lord is there. He loved us while we were dead in sin, so His grace is big enough to handle it. He is real, He is able, and He loves us. His plan is far greater than ours. Following Him is a grand journey that will lead us to some amazing places. We just need to ask Him to show us the view.
Let us worship this grand God!
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.
Who comes to mind when I say, “important people?” The president? Cabinet members, Supreme Court justices, congressmen? Governors, mayors, leaders in the community? Your boss and those higher up the food chain where you work? How about wealthy businessmen, top athletes, movie stars, musicians, media personalities, T.V. evangelists, mega-church ministers?
Important people are an important topic here in the nation's capital. Having lived here most of my life, I've had the opportunity to meet many “important people.” I've been to numerous events where crowds of people try to get a glimpse of someone famous, just to say they were in the same room with that person. To actually meet and talk with such an “important” individual is another step up in status. Having a photo taken with such a person is even better. It's so exciting! On it goes, as we seek to grow in status by reflected glory.
By contrast, let me tell you about a small church in a small town in Tennessee. My brother-in-law Matthew, who is mentally ill and probably alcoholic, started going to that little church on Sunday mornings. That congregation welcomed this man who looks and smells like a homeless person. Although at times he can seem almost normal, he speaks and acts very strangely at times. Because he doesn't “fit in,” he is usually rejected or avoided wherever he goes. He's not “important,” you see. Yet he got greeted and hugged every single Sunday at that little church!
A few weeks ago, we moved Matthew closer to where we live. On moving day, the pastor of that church came to say goodbye to Matthew, hug him, and tell him that they would write him. That pastor was glowing with the Holy Spirit. His sincere love for our brother reminded me of Jesus Christ, who ate with sinners, healed the sick, and spent time with social outcasts. It may be that the Lord plans to save Matthew, and this pastor will have been a significant part of that process! When the Bible says that “the last shall be first,” I think of this humble man and that tiny church in a dying no-name town. What a witness! In my mind, he is more “important” than the presidential candidate I saw last week in Washington.
Scripture encourages us to “give honor where honor is due,” to admire people with fine character, and to emulate examples of godliness. But the Bible also says “not many rich will enter the kingdom of heaven” and “don't show favoritism to rich people.” “Don't try to get into the good graces of important people, but enjoy the company of ordinary folks.”
Jesus loves the losers! Every man, woman, and child was created by God Himself in His own image. Every person on this planet has value. Christ came to the lost, the poor, the rejected, the mentally ill, the addicted, the deformed, the suffering, the depressed, the lonely. Christ comes to you. You may not feel “important” at this moment, but you are important enough that Christ died for you. “They trust on their wealth and boast about how rich they are, yet not one of them, though rich as kings, can ransom his own brother from the penalty of sin! For God's forgiveness does not come that way. For a soul is far too precious to be ransomed by mere earthly wealth.” Are the people we admire “important” or impotent? Only Jesus has the power to save a soul.
Celebrity worship is idolatry. It shows that we value worldly wealth and power over true spiritual riches of life with God Almighty. God is rich in mercy, kindness, patience, and love. He wants us to set our minds and hearts on these things, to long for these things, to value these things. Then we will be truly rich in the Spirit. “For it is from God alone that you have your life through Christ Jesus.”
God is faithful,
j
Matthew 20:16; Romans 13:7; Matthew 19:23; James 2:1; Romans 12:16; Psalm 49:6-9; 1 Corinthians 1:30
This is the second half of the short talk on marriage I gave at a recent bridal shower. Part One was about the inevitable culture clash of marriage. Part Two is about communication as a solution to this culture clash.
Communication!
We've seen that there is culture clash in every marriage, yet Scripture holds up a wonderful pattern of godly marriage with such terms as “bone of my bone” and “helpmeet.” Ephesians says “there is one body, one spirit, one hope and one Lord!” How can this happen when we're so different? Only with the Holy Spirit's help will you begin to experience the joy of this special communion between husband and wife. It's been said that Christian marriage is like a triangle. God is at the top, and the two partners are at the bottom corners. As each person grows closer to the Lord, he grows closer to the other person as well. This is an excellent picture. If you want a closer relationship, abide in Christ. If you want better communication with your spouse, communicate with God regularly, diligently, honestly. God will work in you the blessed fruit of the Spirit through prayer.
Pray with your spouse, too. There is no faster way to get close to another person than through praying together. You are addressing the Creator of the Universe and the Sustainer of Life. Believe me, not only is He worthy of praise, but He has the answers to all of your problems.
Now, here's some practical advice on communication between husband and wife from my own experience.
First, before you get into a disagreement, ask: have you both eaten, slept, exercised? Did someone have a hard day at work? Is someone sick or in pain? Is it that time of the month? Much drama can be avoided if we take care of basic physical needs before taking on a troublesome topic. Human bodies need tending. There's a time to speak, and a time to be silent. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference!
Next, ask yourself, is the problem one of submission to your husband's leadership, or is it an issue that must be raised? Some Christians are taught that a wife must never disagree with her husband on any matter, even when his decision may hurt her, but I find that there are situations that call for wives to speak up in order to give husbands all the information they need. But you must do it gently, guarding his ego. Ephesians 5:33 says, “the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” Here the Word of God sums up the essential need of every husband in just one word: respect. Many jokes have been made about the male ego, but the fact is that God made men to long for the respect of others, especially his wife. Remember that your husband must answer to God for how he served you as leader. Make it pleasant for him to lead you. God calls you to humility.
No marriage is perfect. I can guarantee you that there will be problems. What matters is not how big the problem, but how big your heart. When you disagree, make every effort to fight fair. This means that your arguments must be productive; they must advance the cause. Contrary to how you may feel at the time, personal vindication is not the cause! This is not about you or him winning the argument, but God forming in each of you the likeness of Jesus Christ.
Attack the problem, not the person. Reaffirm areas of agreement often. Learn to solve problems together by maintaining good communication with God and one another. Let your partner know that you can be trusted to tell the truth, to be kind, and to keep private matters private. Finally, as Christians, each person should desire to be the first to apologize and the first to forgive. By doing this you will grow true character, as every act of submission becomes a means of exaltation in Christ.
I'll conclude with this prayer:
“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” - Romans 15:5-6
“O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.”- Psalm 34:3
God is faithful,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.
I was asked to give a short talk on marriage at a bridal shower last week. The bride is American, and her groom is from India, so my talk was about Culture Clash and Communication.
Culture Clash!
It seems logical, since you are marrying someone from a different country, to talk about the inevitable clash of cultures that you will encounter in your marriage. I'm sure you've seen already that different nations have different geographical features, histories, ethnicities, languages, religions, and traditions. You would expect that there would be major differences in everyday customs, food, clothing, living conditions, and even in basic values. You're smart: you've anticipated this. You've probably even prayed about it.
I can relate to you better than you think. There's a culture clash in every marriage, including my own: his family vs. her family. From holiday observances to arguing styles to keeping house to child-rearing to vacations to how they handle money, there will be major differences. In my case, our families were about as different as they could be in the way they thought and did things, while still being from the same country. It was a constant battle ground. Back in the day of big heavy desk phones, I can remember one phone conversation with my mother-in-law that angered me so much that, after she hung up, I slammed the phone down on our beautiful wood desk, leaving a large dent that's still there today. I assure you, no matter how nice they are, there will be conflict with your spouse's family, so you must develop godly ways to deal with it. Find interests in common and be nice.
Also, be aware that your husband may expect you to act in the way his mother did (good and bad), and you may expect him to act like your father (good and bad). These are pits; don't fall into them. “Leave and cleave.” Learn how God made your husband a unique individual, and go with that.
Another word of warning: when interacting with your own family, don't complain about your husband. You must defend your spouse's reputation no matter what anyone else may say or imply. A couple's first loyalty must be to the Lord and then to each other, above your families of origin. See that your husband has no doubt of your support.
Another culture clash that all marriages will encounter is: male vs. female. Dr. John Gray wrote a best-selling book called, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” about understanding and respecting 10 major differences between the sexes. We need insight as to where the other is coming from, and what they're hearing. Dr. Deborah Tannen wrote a best-seller about male-female communication aptly called, “You Just Don't Understand.” Her scholarly research reveals that men are all about competition, while women are all about community. Also, women talk more!
My advice: your husband is not your girlfriend, and you'll be a lot happier if you don't expect him to act and react as a woman would. I know you're a good student of academic subjects; now it's time to be a good student of your husband. Don't assume – ask questions! Much conflict could be avoided if we would only learn to ask more questions: What did you mean by that? What are you thinking/feeling? What do you need from me right now? etc. Learn his manly ways so that you can anticipate his needs and gently teach him how to anticipate yours. Remember that communication is not what is said, but what is heard.
But wait, there's more! Yes, there's a culture clash of nations, families, and genders, but the fundamental culture clash you will see in every marriage is sinner vs. sinner. You are a sinner who will marry another sinner and then have little sinners! Because of this underlying condition, you will need to stay close to the Lord.
This culture clash is first about everyday life. As the poet Robert Service said, “It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out, it's the grain of sand in your shoe.” Every couple will have to deal with a myriad of minor matters such as how to load the dishwasher or who cleans the car. The real issue is: his way or my way? You must work together to solve these puzzles with a positive attitude.
Second, it's important to realize that the culture clash of two sinners is also about something much larger, yet more subtle: your expectations, hopes, dreams for the future. Whether or not you admit it, on your wedding day you will envision a perfect husband as one aspect of your perfect life. Later, when your husband doesn't meet all your needs, it's tempting to be discouraged or angry. At one time or another you'll find yourself saying, “God, I did everything right, I married a good Christian man, but I'm still not happy.” This is a sign that you're trying to get from your relationship what you can only get from Christ, your heavenly groom.
Instead of insisting that your husband conform to your dream, both of you need to be part of God's plan. God's plan is much bigger than yours. God's plan is revealed in the Bible: He's working to redeem all creation. As the song goes, “He's making diamonds out of dust.” In your marriage, He's going to apply the powerful pressure of clashing cultures to form those diamonds. He wants to transform your marriage, starting with you!
---To be continued next week---
God is faithful,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.
This weekend there's an opportunity to celebrate fathers. If you have a wonderful father, please give thanks to God and make every effort to show your appreciation to your dad! But...have you ever had the experience of going to the card shop and searching for a Father's Day card, only to end up crying because none of the fine words on those cards applied? Some of us have. Instead of providing us with many ways to say thanks, the good folks at Hallmark have only revealed what we have missed and longed for all our life. We want to show honor to our fathers as the Bible commands, but we don't want to lie. What if your father wasn't a very good father, or you never knew your father, or your father is dead?
If you are a Christian, you have a Heavenly Father who is perfectly good, who wants you to know Him better and better, and who is very much alive! After all, our earthly fathers are only a shadow of what fathers should be. Even the finest father in this world cannot begin to compare with God, our true Father, because all earthly fathers are sinners. In contrast, here's what the Bible says about our Father God: “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all.” - Psalm 145:8-9 This psalm also speaks of His greatness, splendor, majesty, wonderful works, great deeds, abundant goodness, righteousness, glory, might, and everlasting kingdom. As if that were not enough, He is trustworthy, faithful, supportive, uplifting, and a good provider. But, wait, there's more! He is near to all who call on Him; He satisfies our desires and He hears, saves, and protects us. In fact, the whole of Psalm 145 may be read as a Father's Day card to the Lord!
How do we deal with this holiday? Give honor where honor is due. If you can't find a card with an appropriate sentiment for your earthly father, choose a blank card and write a simple message thanking him for any good thing he has ever done, or just for having a part in bringing about your life. If you look hard enough, there is always some word of encouragement to offer. You can choose to do good, even to those who have not been good to you. Find a way to show the love of Christ.
Then, give honor to the Lord, your Heavenly Father, for He is surely worthy of thanksgiving, blessing, glory, honor, and praise. No matter what kind of earthly father you were given, you can be sure that it was no accident. God does not make mistakes. That circumstance was part of the Father's perfect plan for your life: to teach you to depend upon Him, to grow strong in faith, and to conform to the image of Jesus, our elder brother. Remember that if we believe in Jesus, we are sons and daughters of God, members of His royal family with all the privileges thereof. Rejoice!
Happy Father's Day!
j
This week, as usual, I have too many topics in my head! There have been many thought-provoking news stories about which I could write whole chapters, but here's one theme that keeps coming up: responsibility.
A student athlete at a prestigious university rapes an unconscious girl and blames it on drinking. His father minimizes his son's actions and gets the sentence reduced to a laughable slap on the wrist. A politician routinely insults people of other religious beliefs, races, and ethnic backgrounds, then tries to backtrack by admiring their food. Another politician sets up a private communication system to avoid oversight and accountability to the people she has sworn to serve, then lies to cover her tracks. Good Housekeeping magazine, that denizen of dentist's offices, reports that some older married couples are now “swinging” with other married couples to keep things interesting. The article likens this breach of marriage vows to going on a cruise or eating out. Seriously? How is that “good housekeeping?” Closer to home, friends confide that their spouses have been unfaithful and lying about it for years. Everywhere we look, people are trying to blame circumstances for their sin. Don't they understand that we can see right through it?
The Bible says, “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” In other words, be accountable. Let your actions match your words. “Put off lying and speak truth to one another.” Habitual liars hurt themselves and others, and God promises that He will judge them. You will not get away with evil deeds done in secret, but your deeds will be “shouted from the housetops.” You can't hide from God.
The father whose son was a rapist needs to sincerely apologize to the girl and her family, and to see that his son is punished in such a way that he never repeats the behavior. The rapist needs to admit his fault and be willing to suffer in order to ease some of the girl's suffering. The lack of sorrow for the error pours salt on the victim's wounds.* The politicians need to admit their mistakes and seek to correct them going forward. Their words and actions must reveal regret, not shifting of blame. The magazine needs to return to first principles and actually help marriages, not destroy them. The cheating spouse should offer proof that they have broken off all affairs and closed all secret accounts. They should demonstrate sincere sorrow and a desire to change, along with renewed loyalty to their rightful spouse. They must not blame anyone else for their problems. They should seek godly counsel and spend much time in prayer to the Lord.
I wish people would just take responsibility! Taking responsibility means initiating corrective behavior. The responsible person speaks the truth, even when it's difficult. He acts with honor, even when it hurts. When he makes a mistake (and we all do), he takes the first steps toward fixing the problem himself; he does not wait to be caught by others. He does not need to be confronted or cajoled. He wants to be a better person. I have seen how God blesses the honorable person with health and happiness.
Responsibility begins at home; let's all renew our commitment to do right by others. And where we have failed, let's confess our sin to the Lord, knowing that He will forgive all who truly repent. “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts, let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.” - Isaiah 55:6-7
God is faithful,
j
*I am a victim of sexual assault, and I can tell you it is NOT over after 20 minutes. It changes your life in ways I never could have imagined. It has taken decades for me to begin to heal. Now I try to use my experience to help others. I am so proud of the young woman who is brave enough to speak out! Now I hope and pray that everyone listens.
To my unmarried readers: please don't think this doesn't apply to you! If you're in a relationship now, this can benefit you as well. If you're not in a relationship but would like to have one in the future, read this with open eyes. It may help you see what to look for in a committed loving partner.
A friend sent me this “Examination of Conscience for Married Persons” from a Catholic document entitled, “The Two Shall Become One: The Sacrament of Reconciliation and Marriage.” It begins with wise words, “God calls most men and women to the married vocation. This is a great honor and an immense challenge. To fulfill this marvelous calling we need Christ’s help; we need his Spirit’s power.”
To aid in self-examination, there are questions in four areas: your responsibilities to God, to your spouse, to your children, and to society. I thought the questions about marriage were particularly good, so I'm sharing most of them here for contemplation. It's valuable to do a check-up every so often, confessing our sins to God and resting in the abundant forgiveness of Christ as we seek His help to improve.
• Have I cared for my spouse?
• Have I been generous with my time?
• Have I been affectionate and loving?
• Have I told my spouse that I love him or her?
• Have I been concerned about the spiritual well-being of my spouse?
• Have I listened to my spouse?
• Have I paid attention to his or her concerns, worries, and problems? Have I sought these out?
• Have I allowed resentments and bitterness toward my spouse to take root in my mind? Have I nurtured these?
• Have I forgiven my spouse for the wrongs he or she has committed against me?
• Have I allowed misunderstanding, miscommunication or accidents to cause anger and mistrust?
• Have I nurtured critical and negative thoughts about my spouse?
• Have I manipulated my spouse in order to get my own way?
• Have I tried to bully or overpower my spouse?
• Have I spoken sharply or sarcastically to my spouse?
• Have I spoken in a demeaning or negative way?
• Have I injured my spouse through taunting and negative teasing?
• Have I called my spouse harsh names or used language that is not respectful?
• Have I physically abused my spouse?
• Have I gossiped about my spouse?
• Have I undermined the authority and dignity of my spouse through disrespect and rebelliousness?
• Have I been moody and sullen?
• Have I bickered with my spouse out of stubbornness and selfishness?
• Have I lied or been deceitful to my spouse?
• Have I misused sexuality?
• Have I been loving and physically affectionate in my sexual relations?
• Have I flirted or fostered improper relationships with someone else, either in my mind or through words and actions?
• Have I committed adultery?
• Have I misused alcohol or drugs?
• Have I been financially responsible?
This is quite a list! As my husband said, “Marriage is more about partnership than personal fulfillment, but there is fulfillment in being part of a good team.”
Here's a classic definition of love. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
God is love,
j
“Examination of Conscience for Married Persons” was written by Fr. Thomas Weinandy.
Today has been a great Mother's Day for me. Instead of waiting in line at a fancy restaurant, today our sons came over to our house and we just enjoyed simple take-out food and relaxed conversation at home. Favorite people + peaceful place + I don't have to cook = great time/less money. Last night we all went to a movie together. I am grateful that, as adults, my children still enjoy spending time with us and each other. I am glad that my family understands that I want experiences (like these) rather than objects as gifts. Despite what all the stores are saying, time together with people I care about is higher on my wish list than a new handbag. (And for tired mothers of young children, sometimes time apart from certain loved ones is what they want most!)
But today the Lord granted me an even better Mother's Day gift. At church the topic was God's encouragement to His people, “Do not grow weary in doing good.” In the discussion, my son Austin read aloud this passage from Isaiah 44:
“But now hear, O Jacob my servant,
Israel whom I have chosen!
Thus says the Lord who made you,
who formed you from the womb and will help you:
Fear not, O Jacob my servant,
Jeshurun whom I have chosen.
For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
They shall spring up among the grass
like willows by flowing streams.
This one will say, 'I am the Lord's,'
another will call on the name of Jacob,
and another will write on his hand, 'The Lords's,'
and name himself by the name of Israel.'
– Isaiah 44:1-5 ESV
Austin shared this in the context of the Lord's provision to all weary workers who honor Him, but it had special Mother's Day meaning to me. “I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring...this one will say, 'I am the Lord's'.” As he spoke I felt tears well up -- God has seen fit to save my sons! God made a promise and He fulfilled it. Yes, we parents played a part, but only God can do the inner work of the heart, calling children to love and serve Him all their lives. My children are Christians, and there is no greater joy than seeing them walking in the faith, growing day by day, year by year in the knowledge of God. This is a huge blessing.
While I continue to pray earnestly for mothers whose children are not walking with the Lord, as well as for mothers whose children have died, today I am thanking God that I am a mother. There are many difficulties in my life, but in this I can rejoice!
God is faithful and good,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.
Today was a beautiful day in the Nation's Capital, so I decided to get outside and trim a large evergreen bush at the corner of our house. It was reaching way up to the roof, twice my height. As He sometimes does, the Lord used experience outside to teach about spiritual principles inside. Bear with me as I lay the groundwork.
First, this bush was so overgrown that many branches would need to be cut back. To prepare for this kind of yard work, you gather several different cutting tools for different size branches. Put on gloves and take water to drink and kleenex for sneezes. Designate an area well away from the house to pile the chopped off branches.
Then pruning begins. At first the work is easy: you use the smallest clippers to trim back the thinner branches blocking the window or brushing against your face. There are many of these to be cut, but the work is painless. You feel great – you're accomplishing something you've put off for months. Then, as you crawl into the thicket of growth, you see larger branches that require a saw. This particular bush has hard wood, so the work requires more effort. As you cut into the larger ones, the wood starts to crack, making clean cuts impossible. You feel the inside of a branch, and it's bone dry. There's no life left. Some of the branches can be snapped off with your bare hand; others require a lot of elbow grease with the saw. You realize that if you had only seen how dead these big branches were, you could have just cut them off in the first place, instead of wasting time clipping each individual smaller twig.
As you remove bigger branches, it's no longer possible to just toss them on the pile, now they must be hauled by force. Dragging each fully grown branch out of the tangle takes determination, since they try to grab any other plants they can on their way out. Misery loves company, and all that. Now that the area is more open, you discover an old azalea bush which was desperately trying to survive under the tremendous shadow of the bigger bush. That old azalea even has some little pink buds. And look, there's that lovely purple azalea given by a dear friend. Now they can find room to flourish. You start to see what you've been missing.
At last, sweating in the sunlight, you penetrate to the trunk. What? It's not a bush, it's actually a tree. Furthermore, the central stem of this whole tree is cracked; in fact, there's a big gaping hole in the middle! Now it's clear that the whole thing must be dying, for there's no moisture left in the core. If only you had known this at the outset! But you couldn't see the trunk for the branches.
Sin is just like this overgrown bush. For a long time, you're walking by that bush every day and ignoring it. Then the Holy Spirit pricks your conscience and you start to notice that the bush “may be a bit unruly.” A few days, months or years go by while you avoid dealing with the problem. It's just one bush, right? Not a big deal if you look at the entire yard. Let's enjoy that nice plant over there instead.
The ugly bush grows larger. Then perhaps someone points it out to you, and you get embarrassed. You promise God you'll do something about it, when the time is right. You can't cut bushes when it's too cold, right? Besides, you have to do your taxes. While waiting for the planets, season, weather, your schedule, and your attitude to align for the “perfect” yard work day, the bush grows even higher and fuller. It's crowding out everything else. That bush would be a perfect specimen of the plant kingdom if only it were in the right place!
Maybe this period of waiting is just assembling the right tools, then getting the courage to use them. “There is a way that seems good, but it leads to death.” Once we realize that the way of sin is death, we know Jesus is at work in our hearts by the Spirit. Sin is hollow at the core, its heart is lifeless, it's just a dry old cracked tree trunk. It may have an outer show of green leaves, but that is an illusion. This happiness is only temporary, the pleasures of sin for a season. And sin has a way of making us forget the flowers in our life. Access is blocked to the good gifts of God. We become ungrateful.
Whether it's our own sin we're dealing with or someone else's, sometimes we need to wear soft gloves, handling the issue with gentle tact. At first we make little cuts on some of the most obvious outer branches. The Holy Spirit works in this tender way sometimes. At other times, as with recalcitrant children, a sharp word or even a spanking is needed. Chop, chop! The remedy may be drastic; it hurts. Our loving heavenly Father may chop down some wooden idol that we rely upon in the place of God. Get out the kleenex; then drink deeply of the living water. Your Father loves you too much to let you continue in that sin.
What about timing? The natural world shows us that if we can tame a plant early, keeping it within proper boundaries, many problems can be avoided. For best results, “train up a child when he's young.” But even when some evil has been allowed to grow for many seasons, it's never too late to start chopping. With Christ, there is abundant pardon for all our sin, and abundant help in the daily struggle against it. He revives our cracked up, dried out empty hearts with hope. He is good, He is faithful, and He is able! Thank You, Lord!
I'd like to write more, but I have to go chop down the rest of that bush.
God is faithful,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.
“Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wipe your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have. “- John Piper
I don't know about you, but I'm struggling with the “if onlys” and “what ifs” of my life. I've had serious discussions with four different people this week on the same topic: what have I done with my life, and what I am doing going forward? Having made the decision to stay home with our children for 18 years meant saying Yes to some things and No to others. I look at my personality type, educational opportunities, and the “powerful” people I've been fortunate to meet, and I see how easily my life could have gone in a different direction. I could have been so very successful! I sometimes feel inferior when others of similar age and gifts seem to have advanced so much farther in the same amount of time. I feel uncomfortable in this very career-oriented city when people ask, “What do you do?” which is invariably the first (and sometimes the only) question in the DC area. Worst of all is the sense of self-doubt. Am I good enough? Am I really using the gifts God gave me to their full potential? Have I failed Him?
Studying Romans this year with a group of women has reminded me that eternal salvation does not depend upon my achievement or success in any way. It's not about me, but about God choosing to bestow a gracious gift of mercy on an undeserving sinner. So I have no doubt of my salvation, thanks be to God. Over the years as a believer, I have tried to make the best decision I could at each step, given the knowledge I had. Dave and I came from divorced unhappy families, so we reached out to every mature Christian couple we knew to get advice. We chose to marry for life, to serve the Lord better together than we could apart. In important ways, our parents were not there for us, so we wanted to be more involved in our children's lives. Both Dave and I made definite career choices based on values that were different than those of our parents, co-workers and the city in which we live. By applying Biblical principles with the Lord's help, we've been able to keep our marriage together and raise healthy kids (now adults) who still enjoy seeing us. We've opened our home, enjoying the blessings of friendship. Especially valuable to us are the younger folks we've “adopted” in the same way that some older Christians “adopted” us when we were just starting out. We've been able to serve our church and the community in various ways. Shouldn't this be enough?
Last weekend I was fortunate to attend an excellent conference for professional fiber artists (we make art quilts for the wall, not the bed). While some of us were talking informally, I said I wished I had more time to make art. In response, two people, trying to be helpful, were grilling me about why I didn't spend more time on my art so that I could produce more work to sell. One was even trying to introduce me to Google Calendar! (Clearly she didn't know me at all.) This conversation was a test from the Lord. It would have been easy to despair, but as I recited the many other things I do in my life, I saw that I had made other choices about how to spend my time. Hearing this, the two people literally turned their backs on me and walked away.
It's fair to say that for most artists, art is their whole life. Whether painters, musicians, writers, or dancers, they walk, talk, eat, and sleep their art 24/7. It's the same for successful athletes, CEOs or great scientists. I've never been able to do that. I've done bits and pieces of many different careers, never devoting myself completely to one thing. Life is just too short to try only one flavor of ice cream! I appreciate, however, that there are some people who are called to make only vanilla, and to make it the best vanilla possible, as their gift to the world. That's great for them, but it's not how I'm made. My career goal was Renaissance woman! So why do I feel bad when I meet others who dismiss me?
God has brought me to this city, at this time, with this husband, these relationships, these skills, at this age in my life. I have had these particular opportunities and these sorrowful limitations, and with those I made these choices. It's no use looking at where other people are and what they have achieved. Every thought of envy means that Satan has me right where he wants me! Jealousy is conduct unbecoming to a Christian. Feeling inferior is conduct unbecoming to a Christian. Regretting my health issues is conduct unbecoming to a Christian. I am called to bloom where I'm planted, and to give thanks.
A few weeks ago, Dave and I had a bunch of people in their 20s and 30s over to our home for dinner, then for brunch the next day. As we were talking and laughing around the table, one person told me I was their “surrogate mother.” This was like a golden bowl of honey lowered to me from Heaven. I was very conscious of what a supreme honor this person was bestowing, and I remembered the fact that several young adults have called me their second mom. Given my values, there is no higher compliment I could receive.
When I was talking to those two well-meaning artists at the conference, the Lord showed me that my priorities are different. I AM doing my ideal job, and apparently God has enabled me to do it well. Practicing hospitality and mentoring young adults are more important goals to me than being a CEO, musician, book author, teacher, psychologist, linguist, event planner, or artist [some of my other interests/careers]. So instead of weeping over what did not happen, I need to rejoice over what did. May I “embrace the life I have” and glorify God in it.
God is faithful and good,
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.
Here is “Easter,” a binary poem by George Herbert, the popular poet, orator, pastor, and musician. His comparison of the lute to the cross is particularly worthy of contemplation on Good Friday. Then rejoice: the agony of the cross is followed by Christ's resurrection, sweeter than any flower, brighter than hundreds of sunrises!
Easter
from The Temple (1633)
Rise heart; thy Lord is risen. Sing his praise without delayes,
Who takes thee by the hand, that thou likewise with him mayst rise:
That, as his death calcined thee to dust,
His life may make thee gold, and much more, just.
Awake, my lute, and struggle for thy part with all thy art.
The crosse taught all wood to resound his name, who bore the same.
His stretched sinews taught all strings, what key
Is best to celebrate this most high day.
Consort both heart and lute, and twist a song pleasant and long:
Or, since all musick is but three parts vied and multiplied,
O, let thy blessed Spirit bear a part,
And make up our defects with his sweet art.
I got me flowers to straw thy way;
I got me boughs off many a tree:
But thou wast up by break of day,
And brought’st thy sweets along with thee.
The Sunne arising in the East,
Though he give light, & th' East perfume;
If they should offer to contest
With thy arising, they presume.
Can there be any day but this,
Though many sunnes to shine endeavor?
We count three hundred, but we misse:
There is but one, and that one ever.
- George Herbert
Have a blessed Easter!
j
What is your Number One prayer request? Mine is Sleep. I have struggled with lack of sleep for decades, and it affects every area of my life, particularly my productivity and my people skills (or lack thereof). I've often said, “If only I could get enough sleep, I would be fine.” In effect, I was saying, “I can do all things through sleep.” Wait, what? Isn't there a Scripture that sounds like that? Oh, but the Scripture says, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:13. For years I have thought, “all things are possible with sleep,” but this week the Spirit reminded me that “all things are possible with God.” - Mark 10:27.
“If only...” How many times have we thought this? If only I could sleep, if only I had someone special in my life, if only I weren't in chronic pain, if only I were more disciplined, if only I had a better job, if only I had more money, if only I looked better, if only I were smarter, if only I had made a different choice, if only a certain person would accept me, forgive me, love me...and on it goes. We forget that many people are saying, if only I had clean water to drink, if only I had medical care, if only I had enough food to feed my children, if only I had decent shelter at night, if only I could read, if only my nation were not at war, if only I was not persecuted...and more. The things we take for granted, someone else is praying for. Oh, what blessings from God I enjoy that others long for! I have family, friends, freedom, peace in our nation, education, ability, a nice home in a safe neighborhood, abundant clean clothing, hot and cold running water, central heating, cars that work, high-speed internet, quality fresh food every day, access to nature and the arts, and much more. And above all these, forgiveness of sins and peace with God through Jesus Christ! How thankful am I?
Maybe I've been praying for the wrong thing. Instead of praying for sleep so I can accomplish my goals, I should be praying for Christ's strength so I can accomplish His goals. I want to get through those low-sleep days with joyous grace, shining for the Lord. Stop whining and start shining. The fact is that our loving heavenly Father knows best what we need most. He will use whatever means necessary to teach us to depend solely and wholly upon Him, not on ourselves. Here is the first verse I memorized when I became a Christian at age 13: “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” - Galatians 2:20 NASB. Somewhere along the way, I've forgotten that I live for Him now, not myself. In this season of Lent, let us give up the idea that we can make it on our own. What we need is Christ.
In the quiet garden, on that dark night of the soul, Jesus Christ cried out, “if only” I didn't have to drink this cup! If only there were any other way to achieve the goal without the Cross! But there was no other way. Love bowed His head to Wisdom and drank the poison cup of sin for us, that we might be forgiven. Our Lord Jesus drank the cup of sorrow in order to offer us the cup of mercy. Thanks be to God! May we never forget the “if only” of Christ!
“If only” we have Christ, we have all we need. Let us give thanks.
j
Copyright 2016 Janet A. Marney
I welcome your comments below.